File Splitting
I'm not a big fan of file splitting. I think files should try to stay together and work out their differences. Ya know the ol' country tune that goes: "If love never lasts forever, then what's forever for?" I feel exactly the same way. Actually, file splitting isn't as horrible as it sounds. This technique allows you to take a large file and split it into smaller fragments. Why would you want to do such a thing? Well, let's say you want to put a file on a floppy disk, but the disk space is limited. By splitting the file into a number of fragments, you can store it on your floppy disk with no problem at all. It's also perfect for sending large files through e-mail. File splitting freeware is available all over the Internet, and it's not a bad utility to have at your disposal. You may wish to use the 'disk spanning' feature built-in to the latest versions of WinZip. Putting your files together into one single ZIP file before splitting them up would be smart. Wow. That sentence was almost oxymoronic. It's kinda like a couch that folds out into a bed.
Finger
It's one of those skinny little things sticking out of your hand. Just don't point them at anyone; they've got nails in 'em. Okay, seriously, "finger" is just a way to tell you the name associated with an e-mail address and whether or not that person is currently online. Other information may also be provided; it all depends on what the author of the information has to say. If you're at a college or university where everyone is on the same network, it's a cool way to see if your friends are online or perhaps they update the information to tell you where the big party is tonight. It does require that the appropriate services be running on a server, most often Unix / Linux systems, but there are Finger servers for Windows available as well. Go ahead... "finger chris@lockergnome.com" from a command prompt (or find a GUI utility to do it for you). Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to edit my plan on the new server yet. So, as you will see, I have No Plan.
FireWire
Look at the back of your printer. That's not a tail coming out of your InkJet, it's just a cable. More than likely, it's one of those thick cords with a bunch of tiny little pins on each end. This is most likely a parallel cable. Yeah... so? Well, a new easier-to-attach cable has been developed; it's quickly becoming the next big thing in the world of cable. Yeah, I know this is terribly fascinating, but just wait -- you'll be asking for a peripheral that comes with this technology the next time you go shopping, believe me. The new 1394 High Performance Serial Bus (or "FireWire," as Apple calls it), is currently used with digital video cameras, DVD players, and other devices; it transfers data at a much higher rate than any other serial bus. In other words, it's better. Faster. See... I told you so.
Flash
"You'll need the Flash Plug-in to view this animation." You've probably seen that prompt hundreds of times, but why on Earth would you want to be flashed? Isn't that a crime in most states? Flash is a widely-used authoring tool for making animated vector graphics. Ya know, flashy things. The format was developed by Macromedia; you can't go anywhere on the Web without running into it. Some sites incorporate it successfully, and others... not so much. Have you ever actually waited for a Flash intro to load and play completely through? Flash splash is annoying; don't do it. We'll click that SKIP INTRO button without blinking. People are naturally drawn to bright shiny objects, ya know. The key (IMHO) is to use Flash sparingly if you use it at all. Sure, that scene with a dog flying through space is cool, but does it really work well with your financial portal? Um... probably not. Especially with those... frames.
Footprint
It never fails. Even if you have the world's largest desk, eventually you run out of space for your PC and all of its components. How much space is your computer case taking up, anyway? What about your printer? Your scanner? The space a peripheral occupies is its "footprint." The larger the item, the larger the footprint. The smaller the item, the... well, you get the idea. Within the operating system, a memory footprint refers to the amount of RAM any given program uses when loaded. If you work in a cramped environment, you should ask for a printer with a small footprint the next time you go shopping for one. The salesman will either be really impressed by your grasp of techno- jargon, or he'll think "Who does this scrawny little man think he is?" But that's just me. No, really. Ah, well... I didn't need one of their tiny footprint-leaving printers, anyway.
Frames
When you go to build a house, you need a solid foundation and structurally-sound framework. You can't just throw all the materials into a giant heap, can you? Think about it: your house could crumble from the breeze of a simple sneeze. This is fine if you're filming a Three Stooges short, but not so good in real life. The same goes for building a Web site. You see, sites can be made up of "frames" -- each frame being an independent HTML document. They can keep all of the content organized so that surfers can find stuff easier (sometimes, they help cut down on page load times). Not all browsers support frames and some people detest frames altogether, which is why you'll often find sites designed for both frame and non-frame factions. LOCKERGNOME.COM does not sport more than one frame; I hate when I get stuck inside someone else's. I'm crazy that way. Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck!
FTP
Our labs have discovered that 'FTP' is restaurant jargon for: "Flapjacks with two potatoes." As in: "Mel, I need an FTP, ASAP; the family at table four is getting PO'ed.'" Little did you know that 'FTP' is also used in digital circles; in this environment, it stands for: 'File Transfer Protocol.' Think about it for a second; it's a way to transfer files between two connected computers. Think of two apartments in separate buildings adjacent from one another (with a clothesline strung between them). Moe (in one apartment) wants to read the newspaper; he knows Larry (in the other apartment) has today's paper. So, Bob clips a note to the clothesline requesting access to Larry's paper. Larry receives the note and asks Bob to verify his claim (that he truly is Bob). Bob verifies his claim via password and Larry sends the newspaper over. FTP sites work pretty much under the same principle. Using an FTP client, you can access countless FTP sites, many of which allow public access by simply typing in "anonymous" (sans quotes) as your username and password. A comprehensive list of FTP clients is forthcoming. My current favorite: FTP Voyager from RHINOSOFT.COM.
Function Keys
Conjunction Junction, what's your function? If this were School House Rock, I'd divulge that information. But it's not, so let's just focus on the word "function" in respect to computing, shall we? You've probably noticed those keys resting at the top of your keyboard labeled 'F1' through 'F12?' Are they just there for decoration? Well, anything's a decoration if you don't use it. Actually, they're called "function keys" and they can make your digital days a lot dandier if you use them often enough. They're pre-programmed, one-button keyboard shortcuts! So, what the heck do they do? That depends. When you run into a snag within a program, tapping 'F1' will typically launch its help documentation. In the Windows Explorer, you can use 'F2' to rename files; in another program, it may do something entirely different. Again, the function of the function keys depends on what application you happen to be running. Ah, my undying quest to make the mouse obsolete. Well, to minimize its usage, anyway. Not by clicking the designated Title Bar's button, of course.
